標題: 搵人幫手睇睇 d grammar [打印本頁]
作者: 出奇老鼠 時間: 2008-2-18 21:35 標題: 搵人幫手睇睇 d grammar
篇文聽日交 , 拿拿林 20min 作完 , 搵人幫手睇下有咩 grammar 錯 , thanks !複製內容到剪貼板
代碼:
Hero is a subjective word.In my mind,i think a hero is someone who have done somethink very great for the human being.
I think Napoleon is absolutely a hero.He is a excellent militarist.He had took part in more than 60 wars.
He brought French people glory.He defeated the coalition formed by the European in 1800.
After this,more and more people supported him.His military strength grew rapidly after.
In 1805 the European powers joined together against France.During 1805 to 1807 his army defeated Austria,Russia and Prussia.
But in 1807,Napoleon loss in the war Peninsular War.His dash dropped and He loss the war Russian Campaign too.
But he is still a excellent militarist,and he is a good emperor too.
He's excellent legal system,road system,public construction and he brought glory to the French,It brought great impact for French after ages.
Even you or she think he is not a hero , French people does it.
作者: 出奇老鼠 時間: 2008-2-18 22:17
修定版引用:
Hero is a subjective word.In my mind,a hero is someone who has done something very great for human.
I think Napoleon is absolutely a hero.He is an excellent militarist.He had taken part in more than 60 wars.
He brought French people glory.He defeated the coalition formed by the European in 1800.
After this,more and more people supported him.His military strength grew rapidly.
In 1805 the European powers joined together against France.During 1805 to 1807 his army defeated Austria,Russia and Prussia.
But in 1807,Napoleon lost in Peninsular War.His dash dropped and He loss the war Russian Campaign too.
But he is still an excellent militarist,and he is a good emperor too.
His excellent legal system,road system,public construction and he brought glory to the French,It brought great impact for French after ages.
Even you do not think he is hero , French people do!
作者: petlover70 時間: 2008-2-18 22:26
“Hero” is a subjective word. In my own thinking, a hero is someone who has done something grateful for the human race.
I think that Napoleon is an absolute hero. He is an excellent militarist who had taken parts in more than 60 wars.
He brought glories to the French people. He also defeated the coalition formed by the European in the year 1800.
After that, he has more and more supporters; his military strength grew rapidly since.
In 1805, the European powers joined together against the French. During 1805 to 1807, his army defeated Austria, Russia and Prussia.
But in 1807, Napoleon lost in the Peninsular War. His dash had dropped, and lost the war for the Russian Campaign too.
But he is still an excellent militarist, and he is a good emperor too.
His excellent legal systems, road systems and public construction had brought glories to the French, and dedicated great impacts to the French people for many years after.
Even though you might not think that he is a hero at all, but he is always a hero in the French peoples' mind.
(其實我都唔係太明白你既 foundation....不過你可以睇吓以上改動是否幫到你) ?
[ 本帖最後由 petlover70 於 2008-2-18 22:29 編輯 ]
作者: petlover70 時間: 2008-2-18 22:33
介意講你是幾多年級嗎 ?
作者: nganhot2 時間: 2008-2-19 00:30
呢句我可以接受：
I think Napoleon is absolutely a hero.
但係唔明點解呢句要用present tense:
But he is still an excellent militarist, and he is a good emperor too.
我會覺很佢仲在生Ｏ羅！咁改會唔會好ＤＤ？
But he is still the most excellent militarist and the greatest emperor that I know.
[ 本帖最後由 nganhot2 於 2008-2-19 00:42 編輯 ]
作者: 瑤瑤 時間: 2008-2-19 00:30
History Essay ?? :lol
作者: 瑤瑤 時間: 2008-2-19 00:33
引用:
原帖由 petlover70 於 2008-2-18 22:33 發表 
介意講你是幾多年級嗎 ?
作者: petlover70 時間: 2008-2-19 00:43
引用:
原帖由 nganhot2 於 2008-2-19 12:30 AM 發表 
呢句我可以接受：
I think Napoleon is absolutely a hero.
但係唔明點解呢句要用preset tense:
But he is still an excellent militarist, and he is a good emperor too.
我會覺很佢仲在生Ｏ羅！咁改會唔會 ...
But he is still the most excellent militarist and the greatest emperor that I know.
(the most excellent....錯了在雙重意義標準, 或者可以改為 ~ But he is still the best militarist and the greatest emperor that I know.
OR ~ But he is still an excellent militarist and the greatest emperor that I know.)
是用現在的睇法去形容過去既英雄
[ 本帖最後由 petlover70 於 2008-2-19 00:47 編輯 ]
作者: petlover70 時間: 2008-2-19 00:48
引用:
原帖由 瑤瑤 於 2008-2-19 12:33 AM 發表
F. 4 or F. 5 ?
作者: tommy 時間: 2008-2-19 11:48
Don't start a sentence with "But", and avoid using personal pronouns e.g. he, she and I etc. too often to start a sentence.
The objective of the essay is not clear. "Hero" seems to be the objective because it is clearly defined in the first sentence. However, only "Napolean" is described in the heart of the essay and the concluding paragraph. We all know that there are thousands of heroes in the world's history and Napolean is only one of them. If this essay were meant to describ Napolean as a hero, the 1st sentence has to be altered to include "Napolean".
作者: petlover70 時間: 2008-2-19 13:54
Both Tony & Tommy are more than helpful,
but I don't think he needs the BEST solution here....
(assumed that he only wanted something REASONABLE)
I'm sure that all our comprehensive options above will help for a while. :)
作者: tommy 時間: 2008-2-19 14:48
港人回歸後無可奈何地受母語教學所累，今日兩頭唔到岸。諸君不見此板右下角的"回復"，應是"回覆"的別字嗎？
作者: tommy 時間: 2008-2-19 15:13
"even after many years" is Chin-glish !
[ 本帖最後由 tommy 於 2008-2-19 15:18 編輯 ]
作者: nganhot2 時間: 2008-2-19 15:47
引用:
原帖由 petlover70 於 2008-2-19 13:54 發表
Both Tony & Tommy are more than helpful,
but I don't think he needs the BEST solution here....
(assumed that he only wanted something REASONABLE)
I'm sure that all our comprehensive options above ...
同學仔交功課，我地唔應該幫佢改咁多。
為佢好，只需提出個人覺得非改不可的錯處，由佢自己考慮應唔應該採用。
如果唔係，我地會全部都變成免費“快槍手“:L
作者: petlover70 時間: 2008-2-19 15:50
引用:
原帖由 nganhot2 於 2008-2-19 03:47 PM 發表
同意:victory:
同學仔交功課，我地唔應該幫佢改咁多。
為佢好，只需提出個人覺得非改不可的錯處，由佢自己考慮應唔應該採用。
如果唔係，我地會全部都變成免費“快槍手“:L
作者: nganhot2 時間: 2008-2-19 15:57
引用:
原帖由 tommy 於 2008-2-19 14:48 發表
港人回歸後無可奈何地受母語教學所累，今日兩頭唔到岸。諸君不見此板右下角的"回復"，應是"回覆"的別字嗎？
我地公司有個電郵系統由contractor做,英文無問題，中文翻譯錯到嚇死你！
我問IT人點解會咁，佢地話極可能個翻譯係sub-contract畀國內公司做，部分用英轉中Ｏ既軟件做，部分人手做。但係要佢地簡轉繁就有Ｄ“回覆“變“回復“Ｏ既問題。:L
作者: 出奇老鼠 時間: 2008-2-19 18:04
我 F2 咋 .. :)
f4 , f5 讀 emi school 得咁既英文水平就要撞牆啦 .. :'(
[ 本帖最後由 出奇老鼠 於 2008-2-19 18:08 編輯 ]
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